Diet water?

I'll be the first to admit that I insulate myself somewhat from mainstream media. I watch TV only while falling asleep in hotel rooms in strange cities. I only listen to CBC radio. My occasional magazine reading is limited to things like Harper's, Shambhala Sun, The Walrus, and The NewYorker. Somewhere along the way, the world went even crazier than I had suspected.

Today I was at my cushy Yaletown dentist and absentmindely picked up some glossy pop culture mag in the waiting room. As I was flipping through, an ad for some kind of diet product got my attention. When I looked closer, I realized the ad was for water. It only had 25 calories, in comparison to the competitor's water which had 125 calories. Now, I know I didn't finish my dietetic internship, but last I checked water didn't have calories. It's water. WA-TER. But, this ad wasn't for any old water; it was for Propel Fitness Water. Apparently, PepsiCo has found a way to make water—one of the most ubiquitous substances on earth and the one that constitutes almost 2/3 of the human body—even better. These guys are good.

The word is out. Get out there and get your Propel, because you'll have to exercise a whole lot more to burn off the calories in that old brand of water.

.....SSSSSHHHHHH. Nobody tell PerpsiCo, but there's stuff that's been around for millennia, ironically also called water, that has absolutey ZERO calories, and in much of the world it's even FREE (for now).